달콤한 인생

Dalkomhan Insaeng. A sweet life. La dolce vita.

I learnt to let go this week. I learnt not only to let go, but to en-fucking-joy la vida loca en la quien estoy viviendo.

Always liked Spanglish.

Happenstances have always been a very interesting moments in my life; and I like to associates them with some God’s movement. Of course He (or She?) doesn’t really care about me, but you know, sometimes you feel like things are placed there “just for you”.

Other times, it’s not things … but situations.

Persons.

Muses.

Or, not exactly muses; just random beautiful women that tends to pop into your life.

When I come to think about it, I cannot help but notice how Hollywood taught me things about those muses. or beautiful women, I can’t decide which from which.

Yup, she did, as she was a beautiful-woman-slash-muse, and as a busted my holy-ass on an impossible task.

Time is irreversible.

Life is pain.

One must endure things to learn.

Experience, they call it.

Sometimes it happens in a good way, and you feel agreably surprised to …slide.

With P. for instance.

I’m still learning to … feel good.

- Back to the point.

As I’m writing all this I cannot help but to feel disgusted by myself. Perhaps I like being miserable.

Perhaps I don’t.

How the fuck could I know this shit ?

Fuck I switched from Dalparan to Yamagata.

It hurts. I mean, emotionally speaking, it hurts.

-

I gotta admit I don’t know what I’m doing for the time being. Life’s been goin a little too … weirdly lately.

Gotta clean my head.

One week off to my “hometown”

…fuck Hollywood.

Ajustement

Stop.

Ce blog a été trop personnel ces derniers temps. Bien trop pour être même d’un quelconque valeur, même pour mon utilisation personnelle (et dois-je le rappeller, il n’en a jamais été autrement : ce blog n’est autre qu’un espace virtuel de stockage de pensés … rien de plus.)

Pour une fois, je ne ferai aucun plan sur la comète, puisqu’ils sont généralement voué à l’échec; mon esprit contradictoire et indomptable m’oblige à des inclinations parfois en désaccord avec l’idée originelle. Il est temps de revenir à quelque chose de plus simple, de plus “septembre – début octobre, avant que tout ça ne se produise.”

Je crois néanmoins que l’idée de poster quelques photos (Idée émise par Emmanuelle il y a déjà … longtemps.) est intéressante, dans la mesure où certaines d’entres elles n’ont pas vraiment d’autres endroit où aller que dans ce carnet de bord (et depuis quelques temps, carnet d’esquisses), car trop personnelles ou peu esthétique par rapport à mes autres clichés.

Je n’ai pas grand chose à ajouter, si ce n’est que ma quête de la muse continue … et Chris Weeks avait raison : they overlap. Je n’étais pas totalement convaincu à l’époque, mais maintenant il n’y a plus de doute possible.

And now I remember what it feels to “not give a damn”.

Because I don’t.

Søren? мишка ?

Pauline

50mm is a bitch to nail … but sometimes, with the right person, it fits just right. Specially @ 1,4.

She was at my place for the last 3 days.

Gotta lot to deal with.

New perspectives and new questions.

I’m sure you could hate me for some reason. I mean, I changed “just like that” in a split second. I wondered a fucking lot about nothing to wonder about. Yeah, Im talking about “hollywood”. I decided not to remember her name.

She is not worth it.

Now Pauline’s another question without answer.

But man, sometimes life’s so fuckin easy.

—

Photo Edition includes : curves; levels; sharpness; vignette. (RAW processed)

Sunday Afternoon

It’s a choice
to stay
It’s a dream
& I wanna wake

You have blood on your hands
and I’m feeling faint
And honey
You can’t decide

I’m a drug
Ya don’t wanna give up
Smoke your cigarettes
Make your love

You poured blood in my heart
and I can’t get enough
I’m drowning, drowning
and you can’t decide

It’s not about geography, or happenstance
you need to fly, & take a chance
You don’t need to soar to emptiness
Float on high, & forever dance alone

You’re scared
Because I feel like home

Hear your voice
Knew right away
If you were here
your eyes would say

There is blood on my feet
as I’m walking away
Rivers are red
Its starting to rain

I’m not gonna live for you
or die for you
Won’t do anything anymore for you
Cuz you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side

I’m not gonna live for you
or die for you
Won’t do anything anymore for you
Cuz you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side

I’m not gonna live for you
or die for you
Won’t do anything anymore for you
Cuz you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side

Not gonna shed one more tear for you
shed one more tear for you
I’m not gonna shed one more tear for you

At least not ’til Sunday Afternoon
Sunday Afternoon

Leave or Stay
Leave or Stay

— Rachael Yamagata

Sun-woo was wrong.

but so was I.

Even though I knew deeply inside of me that it had always been this way.

I guess I’m out of here for a while.

Njoy your life guyz.

Sun-woo may be wrong.

…still, he would say “fuck off asshole.”

I was right, straight from the beginning.

Cat’s out of the bag.

…

I’m so busy those days.

Peregrinations

*Switching the Bloody Beetroots to Ojos de Brujos.*

I’ve been reading the blog of Morgane these two last evenings; the parts about her trip to Tokyo last july. Along with feeling the sweet comfort of returning in a period which was definitely EASIER in my life (even though I confess I prefer the one I’m living in at the moment.), it also accommodates my current stream of thought into a sweet riverbank where I can stay and enjoy the warmness of a cool afternoon in spring…

*Stops the music*

*Think*

I needed a “valeur refuge” lately. Something that put my mind away – pretty much as usual – from my current problems. However, this time, and so contrary to the nature of my previous “valeurs refuge” of those last … well, 2 months, THIS TIME, I’m planning stuff.

Maybe a trip to Tokyo, for now I have the possibility to go there. Finally. I know I’ll eventually go there, I simply don’t know when…

The astral conjecture seems to be keen on favouring a large amonth of luck to be entering my life and, maybe, do a little kick so as to make my dream … well, one of them, to come true.

I’m one lucky devil. A screwed one, would say Laurianne, but still, a lucky-devil.

…

yeah whatev’, this note is useless.

I declared it.

Bleh.